Friday, December 26, 2008

Merry Christmas to all. I hope the season was not to cold and that all had a great time opening presents.
My kids got 3 each, and some donated clothes. I got nothing...But not complaining, Just watching my kids faces as they realized they won the lottery. After 6 years in China they never knew that you can get toys and stuff on Christmas day.
So now my kids have finally succumbed to the American "me first" mentality and have now started to ask "what about me? I want "more"....Heartless it seems when that is all anyone thinks of when it comes to Christmas. It is becoming a crime just to say the words I grew up with "Merry Christmas" people loose their jobs from saying it, being sued just for saying it. All because it is christian......

So now "happy holidays" has replaced the "merry Christmas". And instead of watching "A Christmas Carol" by Charles Dickens. we are stuck with holiday episodes of "Sex in the city" "Will and Grace" And sports. And shit all on MTV for those lucky enough to afford cable, never mind the Satellite programing.
So now that Christmas has come to symbolise the very thing I dread would happen to it like with Valentines day and the 4Th of July and Thanksgiving day.
A secular world of money. A day to reflect on all the kids you beat just to take the toy home for your kids. The commercialization of Christmas. Another day to part with your money so the greedy corporations can take your money from you. And that's why they make all those toy advertisements during the holidays rather than any other day of the year. Because you know the prices will be jacked up. And kids won't remember the one toy they said they wanted last February, because it has been almost a whole year since. And they have to have what so and so has and it's advertised on TV.

So we need to boycott this and stop it. After all the very toy you are buying only cost a few dollars to make in China, but you will pay tens of dollars even a hundred to get it. Who wins this Christmas? not you! You are broke, the toy company that paid a 10 year old child in China to make this toy for a one dollar a day wage in China who does not even know what Christmas is or even have clothes or a blanket to keep warm while making your Kidd's toys this year. But don't worry about them right? It's all about you and your kid getting the best and to heck with everyone else. You are all a bunch of selfish, unintelligible, ingrates.
And that is why I hate the Saleability of Christmas. And you can not put GOD into the equation if it is all about money and toys.

So while you eat a full satisfiying meal, have your 2 kids open up all 20 presents you bought them and sleep warm in a bed. I wish you have nightmares of the starving children chained inside a factory, hungry and making the toys your kids will get this year and know that while a toy cost you $30 or more that it only cost the toy company $100 to buy 1,000 of that same toy and you are bilked into paying $30. Just like the other 999 people who paid $30 for the same toy so the company makes a profit of $30,000 all on your dime.

So now it is time to get ready for the next holiday, New Years day, A day to get drunk and try to forget about those nightmares so you can live in the dream world of selfishness again without guilt. Then comes Valentines day, a day to pay $100 on a dozen roses that only cost $14.99 any other day of the year.
But it's alright, we all like fantasies right? That;s why your husband is out sleeping around with other women, because him loving you is your fantasy, loving someone else is his. And the fantasy for your kids is this: Everything is alright at home we have lots of money and mom and dad are happy.
So keep the dream alive, we have a nother generation of mindless sheep to bring into this world.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

A funny coversation between me and my sister.

plumblossom_inc: Poor jr, he is so sick he even passed up pizza
MySister: now thats just wrong
plumblossom_inc: he just gave my 17 cents from his pocket and told me to go get him more

medicine
MySister: thats cute
plumblossom_inc: He loves pizza too, it is shocking. I think the world is going to end
MySister: most definately
plumblossom_inc: I just gave him medicine and guess what he said?
plumblossom_inc: He said "mom, I'm hungry!"
plumblossom_inc: I told him we just finished off the pizza so he lay down crying
plumblossom_inc: HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
MySister: thats mean

plumblossom_inc: hahahahahHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAH!!!!!
MySister: oh so mean
plumblossom_inc: I am still laughing myself to tears

MySister: man your cruel


plumblossom_inc: Well I did ask him a few minutes before if he wanted pizza and he said no

he was not hungry, then 5 minutes later he says he is hungry? what was I supposede to do?
MySister: i know
plumblossom_inc: But looking on his face as he lay down and I don't know wither he is crying

from not getting pizza or crying from the pain and misery of being sick
MySister: i have no idea
plumblossom_inc: Yes I am sadistic and mean and cruel, that's why I make a better parent

than their father, is is just a sadomasicist. But I enjoy morbid oral abuse, he enjoyed the

physical kind. I enjoy a great hearty laugh, he enjoyed yelling and harrassing (belittleing

the poor babes)
MySister: yeah and thats not right
plumblossom_inc: only in your mind. Everyone needs to be morbid, or else the smile machine

could never make you smile. We must have something to laugh about, or the smile machine will

never work.
MySister: hey, wheres my pizza?
MySister: that was from dad
plumblossom_inc: So in all fairness to laugh at oneself is like laughing at another I ate

the mother F" pizza already! Sheez did you not scroll up and read about my nefarious

laughter at Jr not getting any?
MySister: he said it was good
plumblossom_inc: What was good?
MySister: the pizza
MySister:
plumblossom_inc: The story? the laughter? or the e pizza?
plumblossom_inc: Did you smell it? dad.....it smelled like shit....that was some good shit

there man, too bad you only got an e pizza
MySister: he is laughing
plumblossom_inc: hahaha
MySister: his sinuses are clogged up so he didnt smell it
plumblossom_inc: Why are you sick?
MySister: i was jk
plumblossom_inc: You have to realise I am just like my dad!
MySister: i didnt know what elso to do and that look funny
plumblossom_inc: Watching someone barf is not funny, watching someone barf in public and be

stared at is funny
MySister: yeah it is
plumblossom_inc: I am glad we agree on something sis.
plumblossom_inc: Of course we are all
MySister: i knew that
plumblossom_inc: Oh Yeah? how did you know? I was the one who told yoou.......

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Living in LA part 2

After a few days of being in the Hollywood Inn express south, I went to the GAIN office for a new voucher for the hotel, but I did not have all the receipts, so they would not put the money on my card. Instead they gave me a voucher check and told me to use their choice of motels. Out of the 5 motels one stood out because it said they had a kitchen, so I chose that one. Well after moving all my things down to that motel, I found they did not have kitchens and they did not have refrigerators or internet, and most of the rooms only had one bed, full sized, but still not big enough for me and the kids. So I left our things there and took the metro rapid 754 back up to the Alexandria House shelter and told them my situation. I gave the kids something to eat and went upstairs to check my email. As I was checking my email, one of the ladies there, named Liz came upstairs to tell me they found a place for us to go.
Well we were taken down there without getting our things. And let me tell you 5 days without a shower and 4 kids who naturally happen to be cousins with the dirt they wear is not a pretty sight.
Our first night, I paid the lady (her name is Arzina) there $450 in cash to stay the whole month, and that left me with $158 in cash for the whole month. And I had about $800 in food stamps, so that I was not worried about, it was just keeping the kids clean that was.

Wednesday I had cooked dinner for all the residents in the house and just when I thought I could eat, everyone started cleaning out the two refrigerators in the kitchen and putting dirty dishes from them in the sink and the spoiled food on the table, then I was told it was my turn to clean the kitchen. OK I thought, I’m cool with that, but then after I started to sweep the floor the same girl came up to me and said “oh yeah I forgot to mention to you that you also have to clean the living room too”. So I spent 5 hours starting at 10:00 Pm cleaning both bathrooms and the kitchen and living room. There were dirty dishes on the counter and in the sink piled high. I finally went to bed at 3:00 AM, dirty and tired.
Thursday morning, I made breakfast for my kids and had all the other parents’ kids who did not go to school come up to me saying they were hungry. I told them all to go talk to their parents and the parents told me to give their kids something to eat. Hey I am not these kids’ parents, why should I feed them with my kids’ food? Only to be told after I fed them that I should clean the dishes I used for the meal. I was not happy.

Well she finally took me on Thursday night to get my things from the motel and check out. After getting everything out we headed back to the house and I put my things into my room. After settling all the kids into bed and I sat down to read a newspaper to look for a job, but miss Arzina came upstairs and asked why everything was dirty, every one had an excuse not to clean one was saying she was too sick, Yeah right she sits on her ass everyday. I told Miss Arzina I did it and more the other night and it was not my turn, after she found out everyone had me clean up all that, she was mad. She said that everyone waited for me to get here to clean out the refrigerators and then made me throw their stuff away because they were lazy.

We were supposed to have a house meeting and rewrite the chores list, but it pretty much seems to me that I am stuck cleaning everything while everyone is either eating or talking. I am told to clean this and clean that, but I have to go out to watch my kids, while the other parents sit upstairs and watch TV and talk all while their kids are outside. I leave one spoon in the sink and I have to wash everything in the sink, but they will go a whole day or more without washing dishes. Oh never mind my roommate coming home with her baby and getting into a fight with me for having my kids sleep on her bed. This place has no funding what so ever and all these rooms have two families inside them and they are barely 10ft by 15ft.The beds are twin sized. There are two beds in my room, and two adults and 5 kids must share these two small twin sized beds. There are around 10 kids here and 7 Adults (myself included) in a really bad Compton neighborhood. All my kids are half Chinese, but these other kids are all black (OK racially and otherwise, they don’t wear shoes to play outside)

Finally we get to Friday, I gave the kids a shower and clean clothes. Gave them a bowl of cereal and sent them to play outside so I could clean the room and get my roommate off my back, I needed to wash laundry, but by Friday my remaining money was gone so I tried to ask around, well after a while my roommate left for work with her baby and she did not come home till around 10:00 Pm. Meanwhile I realize I am missing my EBT card, so I am home alone with everyone’s kids, all the adults are in their rooms and ignoring my requests to help watch the kids so I can look for it.
After Miss Arzina came back home I told her what happened and we called the EBT hotline and it looks like I lost $175 dollars in food stamps. I only had $400 or something. But to be left with around $200 before I canceled my card all because the other Adults in this house are a bunch of stuck up snobs living on welfare and refusing to even find work and at the same time preventing me from looking for work because I am too busy watching their kids and cleaning up after them.

I really do hope these people loose their kids, but if social workers come here they will take my kids as well (death by association) I really do want to get a job and get the fuck away from these lazy drama mamas. All they do is fight all day about who has to clean what, or who’s kids are doing what or someone stole my…….crap. Enough already, I just want to run away with my kids and say to hell with them.

Saturday a day of relaxation in China because all kids are in school, but here in America kids are home from school, a nightmare waiting to happen. My roommate and the other residents get into a screaming match while all the kids are running up and down the stairs screaming and going in and out of the house. I tried to stay out of it because it was one of those someone stole this crap and someone left this here. I just washed my dishes and tried to make lunch for my kids, and then I went to my room and got online to search for a job and update my blog.

I hate these people, they do not care when their kids get hurt and one woman screams at her baby and spanks it (around a year old) because the baby cries from all the noise, they only give their kids juice instead of water and feed the kids cereal, chips, candy and cookies, all the while eating nothing but pizza rolls and every single frozen TV dinner from what ever store they got them from.






I at least feed my kids according to the schedule and I feed them actual food. These other kids are going to get sick because they are not eating right because of their parents who cant even be bothered to watch them and make sure a child molester doesn’t take them.
I rarely eat junk, but I am still fat. (OK not fat fat, but it looks like it)
Would it surprise you to know that most of these kids here will eat vegetables when I feed them? It is sad that their parents won’t feed them right. I got one boy to eat a salad made from spring mix and olives and French dressing. I used onions on my salad; I totally forgot to buy tomatoes.


Well, this is the end of my update, because Sunday just started and there is not much happening at this time of day. Catch you later.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Living in LA part 1.

So on Thursday, November 20Th, at 8:00 Am my kids and I arrived at LAX from GuangZhou, China on a repatriation loan due to my husbands twisted mentality and abuse. I just could not take it anymore. I spent the last 2 years trying to get out of China and away from him. His drinking and yelling and whoring around was making me go crazy.
Anyways, we got to the airport and everything was ok. As we picked up our luggage and put it onto a cart and started to leave a woman called my name over and we went to see her. Her name was Michelle, she had a friend with her named Mary,and she told me that her friend was going to be my social worker. So they took me out to catch a cab to go to the airport and try to settle down.
As we got to the airport I was given $1,000 in cash and a 2 inch thick stack of papers and told to get some rest first and then call all the numbers on the papers.

Well I guess they forgot the fact that I am from NY originally and not from LA and the fact that I have never had to take the bus or train for that matter. I stayed in the hotel for a week and then got kicked out.
Now why would I say that? you ask. Well on Monday my check out day I told the front desk I was going to get money to pay for another week. They said "Ok we will let your stuff stay in the room".
Well I spent all day from 8:00 Am till 3:00 Pm At the GAIN offices trying to get emergency homeless assistance. I only had the money given to me, but I know it wont last. Well I got the hotel vouchers and went back to the hotel and they told me I had to pack up and go. I asked them why when they told me I could stay earlier in the morning. The told me it was their policy.
Well then I went a different route and decided to ask for another room. They told me they had no more rooms left because they were booked for the rest of the week. I sat there confused and I called Mary my social worker and asked her what I could do. And then in walked a woman and she went up to the desk, I started to laugh to myself (mean, I know) She asked if they had any rooms open and they asked her if she wanted a smoking or non-smoking. She said non and then signed the slip the desk clerk handed to her then gave them money and her ID and they gave her back her ID and a room key. I was floored. I could not believe it, she did not have a reservation and they gave her a room not even 10 minutes after telling me they were booked. I have 4 kids and no place to go.
Well tell you what, if you ever go to LA do not stay at the Travelodge Inn on the corners of 5547 West Century Blvd and Aviation. They are a bunch of cruel bastards. I had money and hotel vouchers.

I had Mary call me back and I had to carry all my stuff down the road to the Motel6. Have you ever seen a woman with 4 kids carrying all that on her own about a mile down the street? I am a lot stronger than I look. I was carrying over 100 LBs and trying to keep control of 4 kids aged 8,7,5, and 4. Not an easy task.
Well we checked in and I got everything back on track, every one showered and into bed by 11 Pm.

The next day we went to the GAIN office and sat there again and they told me to fill out a bunch of papers and wait till my name was called. I was there at 8:00Am and they did not call my name till 3:00Pm. They gave me some cash assistance and an EBT card and sent me on my way for the holidays. I hope yours was good. I had to buy new shoes for my older two sons and food. I found a small mexican place that took the EBT card and we had some great food. Now being homless and poor, I started to eat eggs and Cheese again. Because if you go to a soup kitchen and put your nose up at all the meat and eggs and pasta they serve, you will most certainly go hungry.
I can not believe there are no places for vegetarians or vegans to go when faced with this situation. It's impossible to hold to your beliefs when you are hungry, so please don't harp on me. I am trying the best I can.
I learned there was an express trolly that goes to El Sugundo (did I spell that right?) Well they have good shopping and a whole foods store and "The VeggieGrill" I swear they have awsome food. OK!OK!OK! I splurged $38 there for dinner. And bought a pair of shoes for my daughter. Then we went home again. (My kids loved going there and ask me to go again)

Well the day came for us to leave Motel6 and I called the Alexandria House, A shelter for women and children. The put us into a Small motel, And Aparently they have really crappy wireless internet, I could not connect, they wanted me to use their internet room which was a desktop computer on top of a box in a cleaning closet. Then they yelled at me for taking my kids with me. Yeah! right! I really want my kids to be taken away from me because you want to be a bunch of cheap assholes. So here is another recommendation. DO NOT stay at the Hollywood Inn Express South At 141 N Alverado street. Especially if you use wireless, and have kids and no one to watch them.

I found out there are three things in this world you can not be.
1. A woman
2. Poor
3. Be a single parent
And to be all three is like a curse. There is no hope to beat that. People will always look down on a poor single woman with kids. And it will not matter if you have 1 kid or 4 kids from the same father. You are treated like a disease.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

It's good to be American

So after all the trouble I had with an abusive husband who drank, gambled and slept with other women behind my back, And a year of waiting I decided it was time to leave China.
I lost my baby, but I have the older 4 kids with me and we are in LA, California. I am glad it is finally over now. I am free and I can start a new life with my kids and get back on my feet. I have some living assistance to tied us over untill I get a job and I have accompished much in the 2 days we have been here. I found an apartment and applied for food stamps and tomorrow I will turn in all my paperwork and get the kids immunizations updated and enroll them into school. Then I can look for work.
We took the bus for the first time today and I am finally moving up to wireless internet, I think I like it better than the land line version so far.
The kids are very excited to be here. And with everything being so new I have to pay attention to every detail the taxi drivers do so that I can find my way around better.
The repatriation loan is around $5,000 USD. But I feel confident that I can pay it back. I will be filing for divorce and then going to court to fight for custody of my baby who is still in Taiwan.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

The vote for change

I am sorry, I am backing Obama, but I am not a hater to anyone who votes for McCain. I just think he is too much like Bush, and Bush is taking away peoples homes and jobs and then slapping them in the face by giving money to the banks that took away those homes making kids loose their education and homes and health care. If McCain wants my support he has to change all the laws that Bush made to help his rich butt.

Today I went to the US Embassy to renew my sons passport, and I got an emergency voters ballot, I wrote my vote for Obama. My husband joked that Obama would be killed and McCain would die in office because he has back problems and moves like a robot. I know he was joking, but it made me angry.

I think Your choice on who you vote is like your choice in religion and work and to have kids or not. You should never be hated for it. Because it divides us as a country, breeds hate and contempt. I would not want someone to hate me for who I voted for, or where I worked, or who I prayed to. I may have Christian roots, a Christian mother and boss, but I can't see myself in a religion that is two faced at times. You have all the preaching on peace and not discriminating others or judging them, but I see many Christians who discriminate and judge others. It is like the Islamic extremists, They see their religion is the only way and kill anyone who is not the same. We have so many so called freedoms in America, But we live those freedoms in fear of being judged and persecuted. You really have no freedoms if you think about it. Freedom of speech can be silenced by the government, freedom of religion is like being a same sex couple (don't ask, don't tell) We all live behind closed locked doors. And we put on a fake smile and lie to everyone around us. And when we come into the wrong group, we do a nervous grin and bear it. Democracy is not what we think it is.

We have separation of church and state, but the church is controlling us, we just don't see it. Do we need someone who is so religious that they want to continue to fight a war against those who want to kill us for having different beliefs? With McCain and Pallin we are fighting a holy war against others with different beliefs than us. They tell us to not judge others because that is God's job to do, not ours. Yet we hate those who are homosexual.

When it comes time for taxes middle class families pay the most of their salaries. And then the poor families are milked dry. But the rich, They only pay 1% of their income for taxes. When someone with millions of dollars, like a celebrity, says they care about humanitarian needs, but only gives up $13,000 a month for it, but the same celebrity keeps $22 million in the bank, what a lying piece of crap.
That is not humanitarian, Not if God told us to give to the poor everything we can. Look even Jesus and his disciples lived off the giving care of others, even from those who could not afford it.
So to these rich snobs only giving the bread crust to the poor while they eat a feast themselves only shows them as being selfish and greedy. And that is what Bush and McCain are. If you vote for McCain, I guarantee we will see a great depression period and everything will stand still. We will be totally vulnerable to a terrorist attack at that time, because there will be no money to support another fight.

And if you ever have found yourself in a relationship that was harmful wishing you could find the right one, some one who would love you, then why would you stop a gay or lesbian from having what you would like? A partner that they can be married to. A partner who they can walk down the street with, holding hands. A Partner who can ask for help when the other dies and is about to be evicted from their lover's home and is not allowed to keep it, because gays and lesbians are not allowed nor entitled to the same benefits that a straight couple have.
When a straight couple are married they get equal treatment, when one dies the other gets everything according to the will. But not same sex couples, they loose everything when their partner dies.

Bush gave companies major tax breaks for cutting jobs and sending them to China, just so you could be fooled with lead contaminated toys and melamine laced toothpaste and medicines. Things you own kids will die from, but did Bush care? No! he didn't. He only cared about the money those companies gave him when he ran for office, so he rewarded them. Did the workers get anything from those tax breaks? No! they didn't. They got the pink slip and had been forced to scrounge for scraps until they could pay one months bills only to turn around and do it again the following month. Eventually loosing their homes to the banks. Those tax breaks went to the owners of the companies and they made millions of dollars in profits, then sent that money overseas so they would not have to account for the money and pay taxes on it.

Bush owns many oil companies in America. They said that we have no oil in the reserves and pushed the cost of oil through the roof, leaving many to sell their cars because they could not afford it anymore. But yet at the same time they were making billions of dollars in profits. Did you know that we sell more oil to other countries, than we buy? We make more money selling oil overseas, than we do selling it right here in our own back yards. That is why gas prices are so high, the government doesn't want to sell it to you, they want to sell it to countries in South America and Europe and S.E. Asia. So the cost of food is going up, the cost of rent and mortgages are going up, the cost of gas and oil, and even those perks we used to have, like the hair salon, shopping for luxuries at the mall have been cut out of our lives.
And what happens on February, 19TH. 2009? Analogue TV gets shut down. Will you be able to afford cable TV? What will you do when you are forced to choose between food or the cable bill? It is all about "keeping up with the Joneses." Will you be the Jones? or will you be like everyone else? It is a conspiracy, My Own government wanted me to choose between protecting my own kids or protecting myself and leaving my kids behind. The Government will make you choose as well. But as a conscious woman who cares about her kids, I could never leave my kids. I could never choose. And the conspiracy is......

The government is trying to breed out poverty, just like China is. Today I was going to GuangZhou and I saw the police take a street stall food stand from an elderly lady and dump everything in the back of the truck and arrest the woman. Why? Because she needed money to pay the hospital to help her sick husband. She had no job. And one day America will be the same. So you go to the Anti Christ and you get his mark on you, and you will see your life getting better. If you refuse the mark, you will loose your home, your kids and your job and end up homeless. These are the signs of the end times.

Bickering over who to vote for, is very sad. When we should be uniting and rising up and showing we will not take this rich man VS. the poor man life from the government anymore. We all should have equal rights. We all should have the things needed to live life and a little left over to get the things we would like. We all deserve love and companionship. And wither or not you are gay or straight should not be discriminated against.

After all our government already decides who lives and who dies. The poor are killed in war, the terminally ill are forced into an agonizing death because euthanasia is frowned on. Innocent babies are aborted, but did anyone asked them if they wanted to live? NOPE! Why? because some 13 year old girl had sex so she could feel like an adult, because her mother and father are never home because they work too much to show her what a family is all about. And she is left with the government showing her what she needs to do.
Just because you teach kids about sex does not mean they have the mental maturity to know they should not do it. And what about mental illness, suicide? So you feel like it's the only way out, but when you try to do it and fail, the government comes knocking on your door to lock you up because you tried to kill yourself so you could escape from the daily struggles to live normally. A normal life you are denied from having because we are not really a Democracy, we are something worse. Your rights are being taken away and you don't see it.
You are sheep, and you are surrounded by wolves in sheep's clothing. Open your eyes and you will see it too. But the struggle of living in these hard times makes you only see what is before you, like tunnel vision.
Vote for who you want, vote peacefully, and stop hate from growing.
Be apart of fixing the problem, rather than expecting the government to do it. Because you can already see how they are helping to fix the problem. They are blaming poverty, and crime, and homosexuals and the uneducated.
They are blaming us, The citizens who put them into office. And we can remove them from office at anytime, by filing petitions and sending them to congress.
So this year for Thanksgiving day.....What will you be thankful for?

Thursday, September 25, 2008

An emergency at the border.

So on Tuesday I went to the border and as the boat came back from Macao, I had the kids stand next to me as I filled out a departure/arrival card for re-entry into China. I remember people were getting into line and waiting. I realised all the sound left the room and I started to feel weak and dizzy. I put my head down on my arm and told my son Jr. to get the border control officer over and help me. He went over to the lady and told her "My mom needs help". She came over and asked me if I was alright. I told her I was a Diabetic and I needed some sugar, orange juice, or something to eat. And I collapsed on the floor, I couldn't get up. Several border control officers came over to help me. One gave me sugar water and another gave me candy, while another got a snack cake for me to eat. A doctor came to look over me and he checked my blood pressure and took my pulse. I saw many people staring at me from the lines and a security guard took my picture and took pictures of the kids.

This is the first time in a year. The last time this happened was a month after Siobhan was born in June last year. I was with my mother in law in Taiwan getting visa extentions on my youngest two boys. And like back then I was thirsty, but I felt alright while smoking a cigarette and As I was standing in line I lost my sight and hearing. Getting confused and dizzy, shaking and having trouble breathing. I start to panic, scratching my face, trying to talk so someone can help me, but I can barely speak, my voice almost a whisper. My head hurts as I tried to keep it up, seeing spots as I do. Pain running through my head like I was beat.

I am worried about my kids who are standing there worried about me and asking questions in Chinese while answering questions to the border control officers. Next I worry about the passports. We had departed China and were about to re-enter, but we were not cleared on arrival, because of my sugar drop.

The border control officers were surprised by my kids fluent Chinese, translating for me. After 15 minutes I was well enough to continue through the line and go home. I called my husband and told him what happened and he told me it was because I was vegetarian. I have been a vegetarian for two years and my sugars have dropped like this only twice. I feel it has nothing to do with my diet or what I eat. If it was because of my diet, why does this not happen more often?

After I got home I was tired, but I still had to go to the market to buy vegetables for dinner. I walked down to my office and asked my boss for $100 RMB or $12 USD and went to get the food and bread, and picked up some toilet paper on my way home.
I like this green tea soy milk drink. I get it every time I go to the bakery.
My husband called me to buy some meat, and grudgingly I went and bought a JIN of pork, for him for dinner. I felt sick having to hold it, and the money after the butcher gave me the change, there was blood on it, on the bag; the meat was inside.
I wrote about the meat market in another blog, you can take a look.

When I got home, dinner was cooked and we ate. Fried Choy Sum and carrots, onions, white melon, and potatoes with spicy black bean sauce. Then I was off to write this blog. Now that I am done, it's time to take a shower and get ready for bed I have to go to work.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

I am against war.

Here is an entertaining atrticle I found.
http://www.dissidentvoice.org/2008/09/pakistan-invades-america-%e2%80%93-without-permission/#comment-28388

And here is my reply to the article.

Wow! A Pakistani version of the the US. pre-emptive strike. Go Pakistan! Free the world of terrorists. After all America is killing your people without apology claiming you harbor terrorists. If the US wants it’s allies to stop terrorism, the first place to check is the place that started pointing fingers first.
A great analogy: A cheating man accuses his faithful wife of cheating on him to justify cheating on her even more, all the while realising he was the source of the problem.
America is the problem. They gave money, weapons and backed up these terrorist groups for decades hopping to topple the Soviet Union, Then when the Soviet Union did topple, the terrorists felt they did not get enough recognition, so they made people understand how important they realy are by bringing fear and war to millions in every country. The US created the terrorists and the wife found out about the affair, now the US is trying to cover their tracks, but the bed is tainted by betrayl and infidelity. The US made it’s bed, now it is time to lay in it.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

American plight

So there is a growing problem in America and the way I see it the reforms the Bush Administration is trying to push as the countdown to his final days in office are more likely than not too little too late. So we have seen the economy fall on it's butt, more and more people are not only loosing their jobs but their homes as well. Children are denied a future because the cost of tuition of college and universities are higher than ever. And add to that the underclass citizens who are finding paying rent/mortgages vs. medication and food is a big priority. So what do you pay for when you only have the money for one thing? Do you pay for medicine at the cost of going hungry or being homeless? Do you pay to keep your home and watch your health plummet like a spieces on the brink of extinction? What about the educational future of your children when you cant even afford to live with basic necessities, never mind the bare necessities. How do you survive in an age where war is forcing the hands of many?
Many people are loosing jobs due to outsourcing, jobs go to the Chinese because it is cheap labor. On average being payed pennies on the dollar. Working longer hours than most Americans are willing to work, and at the cost of one days wages to an American worker to feed a family for an entire month. In a sweatshop with unethical practices. Even Children lie about their ages just so some 15 year old drop out can feed his or her family after the main bread winner died, claiming they are 20 years old. Maybe a young girl who after many failed attempts by her parents to have a boy, left home so they could legally have another child, becomes a prostitute and never goes home to her family our of fear that she would be found out about her choice in jobs. After all prostitution is in every corner of the globe and is a lucrative business. Some girls are even sold by their parents for a measley amount of money to keep going. Then claiming their child died and producing fake death certificates so they can go on to have a boy.
Many products are sold in America at a cost to both the producer and the consumer. Tainted products. Makes you wonder what is truely safe anymore?
Before we went to outsourcing we never had this problem, now it seems every product we use is tainted. We need to stop importing and start producing. We ship out enough oil to other coutries that we ourselves could use, then we need to have oil shipped in from other countries. Would it not make more sense to use what we have before we ask for more from other countries? Might save some tax dollars. All this push for more off shore drilling....Why? We had enough till we started sending it overseas. And the same goes for food. We send food overseas and then complain about all the poor people asking for more food. We bail out financial institutions instead of the backbone borrowers who loose their homes as we bale out the financial institutes that took said homes away, leaving many homeless. And medicine. Is your medicine safe? was it made in America or in another coutry tainted with a chemical that kills you? But the growing demand on Chinese Civilization is causing a multitude of problems for the people. The most pressing is that they are loosing their chinese history. They tear down old historical relics and flood areas of land that could be used to preserve endangered spieces. And they adopt more western ways. English and manerisms. And because American companies don't want to pollute America for fear of being caught polluting the air and water and soil, they build factories in China to further pollute what is already polluted because there are no laws governing pollution.
Is this the future of our children? I hope not. We need to save America first before we save the world. But from what I see America is taking advantage of other countries and we are quickly becoming hated by the international community.

Friday, September 12, 2008

A day like every other.

Wow! what an uneventful 9th Wedding anniversary I had yesterday.
No hug and no kiss. Not even an "I love you". I slept alone in bed last night because he was out with his friend getting drunk and being with a room full of hookers. I have reached my breaking point. I am going to start saving my money and move out. I am done with him. By this time next year I will be divorced from him.
I hate men, I will never remarry. It is the last time. I have been married twice and both husbands ended our marriage the same way.
I want love, I want respect, I want faithfullness, I want an honourable man who will be there for me.
Unfortunately most men are not this way sadly.

Dissapointment


So the Kindergarten school plans fell through. So I have been wracking my brains to come up with something untill My husband gets a job. We owe rent in a few days and I don't have enough money for it. And with winter comming in 3 months I need to get winter blankets, last year I did not buy them because like this year I had no money. Patrick was too busy living in his cozy warm apartment with a prostitute he wanted to marry. She left him. But it took 6 months more before she disapeared for good.
I just want to go home and get out of here. I love being here, it's adventurous, but I am beguining to resent my life pretty much. I have started hating living in general. As a kid you wish you could hurry up and be an adult. As and adult you wish you could go back and fix all your mistakes. And as you reach the dreaded big 30, you wish (in my circumstance) for life to get over with so you wont hurt anymore.
I hope in my next life things are better and more happy, I can't believe that I have lived almost 30 years with one bad thing after another happening to me.
What did I do?
Why punish me so much?
Why punish my kids along with me?
Why does life suck for so many, but be great for a select few?
How do you define a great life?
How do you define success?
And why do they tell you to think positive, when it never works?
And last but not least, Why pray to GOD? After all he turned a blind eye to you when you were good, and did everything right. Going to church, praying, reading the bible everyday.
After I realised I was on my own, I quit reading the bible, took up drinking and smoking got tattoos and peircings and dirty mouthed language.
The only prayer I say now is this one, "GOD bless the germs the spit and the worms."
Because baby, I need it eating at some of these places here. Dirty, roaches and lack of health codes up the wazoo. But China is like this. I will add a picture of the local market just to show you what I contend with in order to get vegetables for the day...Enjoy, everyones lives are different, take a walk in someone elses shoes and lear something new.

Friday, August 22, 2008

I am busy, very busy.

So I work as an english teacher in China. And so far my regular schedual is:
a class at 2 pm to 3:30 pm.
Break for dinner.
6pm to 7:30pm,
and a break at 7:15 pm,
and my last class is from 7:30 to 9 pm Adult class. Wednesday thru Friday.
On Saturday I have a
10:30 am kids class till 12 noon.
and a 3:30 to 5 pm juniors class.
Well my summer classes are:
10:30 am to 12 noon, kids class.
lunch break.
A 2 pm to 3:30 pm class, mixed; Juniors and Adults.
Break for dinner.
And a 6 pm to 7:15 pm class, a 15 minute break and then another Adult class till 9 pm.
Well starting in September I will also be working in a kindergarten school, I will be working from
10 am till noon (kindergarten),
break for lunch.
2 pm till 4 pm (Kindergarten).
Break for dinner and then go back to my office where I have my regular Adult classes from
6 pm till 9 pm, with a 15 minute break.

I just emailed the US Embassy to ask about overseas voting, and taxes.
My monthly expenditures are:
Rent: $1,700
Electricity: $500
Gas: $250
Hair: $150
Leaving me with $400 for food.
Now add 5 kids to the mix and a husband with no job; and kids old enough to go, but not going to school because we can't afford it. Now you know why I need to work a second job.
Unfortunately, the other teacher now has to fulfill my duties while I am not working at EET.
It sucks, but with the extra $225 USD, We can buy clothes and coats and blankets for the comming winter.
It wont snow where we are, but it gets downright cold. The pipes can freeze and we have to boil water and pour it into a bucket or a plugged sink for baths. Gas comes in small tanks, and need to be replaced every two weeks for us. In the winter, the gas is heated as it travels to the bathroom in frozen pipes. So by the time it hits you, it is cold. They don't have heaters here at least not in the homes, you have to buy space heaters, but they suck the money out of your pocket in electric bills.
So my updates are slow as you can see from the dates on my posts, excuse the absences. I will make up for it when I get a few days off work.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Tired and losing hope.

So I am totally tired I have been working hard to get some money to go back to America with my kids. Everyone who sent me to a website for help, I E-Mailed all, but only responces are, "We're sorry we are unable to help you." Why? I am a US citizen and so are my kids.
Screw Bush and the BS he is causing in America, Because of him my own country can't help me get out of here.
And even if we could get back home there are no jobs because all the jobs are in China, the place I am trying to get out of. I mean I love it here, I love being an English teacher, but I need to be around people who understand me, understand what I am going through. And to be with the last of my family before they all die. I just lost my mother in Febuary.
I got a mother's day tattoo in memory of her. She never even had the chance to see any of her grand children because of my husband.
I need help, but what do I do? Where can I go? How can I get me and my kids out of here and back home?

Thursday, March 27, 2008

New blog notice.

So I now have two blogs a personal one and one for my favorite band AFI.
I will also open up a new blog to post chapter of a romance novel/fanfic that I have started to write a few days ago. The novels name is when worlds collide and I will give updates through this blog as the blog I will post my novel will be for the novel alone. And I will keep updating my AFI blog as long as there is some new information on it.
Please feel free to check out any one of my blogs and give me feedback on what you think.
Thanks!