An emergency at the border.

So on Tuesday I went to the border and as the boat came back from Macao, I had the kids stand next to me as I filled out a departure/arrival card for re-entry into China. I remember people were getting into line and waiting. I realised all the sound left the room and I started to feel weak and dizzy. I put my head down on my arm and told my son Jr. to get the border control officer over and help me. He went over to the lady and told her "My mom needs help". She came over and asked me if I was alright. I told her I was a Diabetic and I needed some sugar, orange juice, or something to eat. And I collapsed on the floor, I couldn't get up. Several border control officers came over to help me. One gave me sugar water and another gave me candy, while another got a snack cake for me to eat. A doctor came to look over me and he checked my blood pressure and took my pulse. I saw many people staring at me from the lines and a security guard took my picture and took pictures of the kids.

This is the first time in a year. The last time this happened was a month after Siobhan was born in June last year. I was with my mother in law in Taiwan getting visa extentions on my youngest two boys. And like back then I was thirsty, but I felt alright while smoking a cigarette and As I was standing in line I lost my sight and hearing. Getting confused and dizzy, shaking and having trouble breathing. I start to panic, scratching my face, trying to talk so someone can help me, but I can barely speak, my voice almost a whisper. My head hurts as I tried to keep it up, seeing spots as I do. Pain running through my head like I was beat.

I am worried about my kids who are standing there worried about me and asking questions in Chinese while answering questions to the border control officers. Next I worry about the passports. We had departed China and were about to re-enter, but we were not cleared on arrival, because of my sugar drop.

The border control officers were surprised by my kids fluent Chinese, translating for me. After 15 minutes I was well enough to continue through the line and go home. I called my husband and told him what happened and he told me it was because I was vegetarian. I have been a vegetarian for two years and my sugars have dropped like this only twice. I feel it has nothing to do with my diet or what I eat. If it was because of my diet, why does this not happen more often?

After I got home I was tired, but I still had to go to the market to buy vegetables for dinner. I walked down to my office and asked my boss for $100 RMB or $12 USD and went to get the food and bread, and picked up some toilet paper on my way home.
I like this green tea soy milk drink. I get it every time I go to the bakery.
My husband called me to buy some meat, and grudgingly I went and bought a JIN of pork, for him for dinner. I felt sick having to hold it, and the money after the butcher gave me the change, there was blood on it, on the bag; the meat was inside.
I wrote about the meat market in another blog, you can take a look.

When I got home, dinner was cooked and we ate. Fried Choy Sum and carrots, onions, white melon, and potatoes with spicy black bean sauce. Then I was off to write this blog. Now that I am done, it's time to take a shower and get ready for bed I have to go to work.

I am against war.

Here is an entertaining atrticle I found.
http://www.dissidentvoice.org/2008/09/pakistan-invades-america-%e2%80%93-without-permission/#comment-28388

And here is my reply to the article.

Wow! A Pakistani version of the the US. pre-emptive strike. Go Pakistan! Free the world of terrorists. After all America is killing your people without apology claiming you harbor terrorists. If the US wants it’s allies to stop terrorism, the first place to check is the place that started pointing fingers first.
A great analogy: A cheating man accuses his faithful wife of cheating on him to justify cheating on her even more, all the while realising he was the source of the problem.
America is the problem. They gave money, weapons and backed up these terrorist groups for decades hopping to topple the Soviet Union, Then when the Soviet Union did topple, the terrorists felt they did not get enough recognition, so they made people understand how important they realy are by bringing fear and war to millions in every country. The US created the terrorists and the wife found out about the affair, now the US is trying to cover their tracks, but the bed is tainted by betrayl and infidelity. The US made it’s bed, now it is time to lay in it.

American plight

So there is a growing problem in America and the way I see it the reforms the Bush Administration is trying to push as the countdown to his final days in office are more likely than not too little too late. So we have seen the economy fall on it's butt, more and more people are not only loosing their jobs but their homes as well. Children are denied a future because the cost of tuition of college and universities are higher than ever. And add to that the underclass citizens who are finding paying rent/mortgages vs. medication and food is a big priority. So what do you pay for when you only have the money for one thing? Do you pay for medicine at the cost of going hungry or being homeless? Do you pay to keep your home and watch your health plummet like a spieces on the brink of extinction? What about the educational future of your children when you cant even afford to live with basic necessities, never mind the bare necessities. How do you survive in an age where war is forcing the hands of many?
Many people are loosing jobs due to outsourcing, jobs go to the Chinese because it is cheap labor. On average being payed pennies on the dollar. Working longer hours than most Americans are willing to work, and at the cost of one days wages to an American worker to feed a family for an entire month. In a sweatshop with unethical practices. Even Children lie about their ages just so some 15 year old drop out can feed his or her family after the main bread winner died, claiming they are 20 years old. Maybe a young girl who after many failed attempts by her parents to have a boy, left home so they could legally have another child, becomes a prostitute and never goes home to her family our of fear that she would be found out about her choice in jobs. After all prostitution is in every corner of the globe and is a lucrative business. Some girls are even sold by their parents for a measley amount of money to keep going. Then claiming their child died and producing fake death certificates so they can go on to have a boy.
Many products are sold in America at a cost to both the producer and the consumer. Tainted products. Makes you wonder what is truely safe anymore?
Before we went to outsourcing we never had this problem, now it seems every product we use is tainted. We need to stop importing and start producing. We ship out enough oil to other coutries that we ourselves could use, then we need to have oil shipped in from other countries. Would it not make more sense to use what we have before we ask for more from other countries? Might save some tax dollars. All this push for more off shore drilling....Why? We had enough till we started sending it overseas. And the same goes for food. We send food overseas and then complain about all the poor people asking for more food. We bail out financial institutions instead of the backbone borrowers who loose their homes as we bale out the financial institutes that took said homes away, leaving many homeless. And medicine. Is your medicine safe? was it made in America or in another coutry tainted with a chemical that kills you? But the growing demand on Chinese Civilization is causing a multitude of problems for the people. The most pressing is that they are loosing their chinese history. They tear down old historical relics and flood areas of land that could be used to preserve endangered spieces. And they adopt more western ways. English and manerisms. And because American companies don't want to pollute America for fear of being caught polluting the air and water and soil, they build factories in China to further pollute what is already polluted because there are no laws governing pollution.
Is this the future of our children? I hope not. We need to save America first before we save the world. But from what I see America is taking advantage of other countries and we are quickly becoming hated by the international community.

A day like every other.

Wow! what an uneventful 9th Wedding anniversary I had yesterday.
No hug and no kiss. Not even an "I love you". I slept alone in bed last night because he was out with his friend getting drunk and being with a room full of hookers. I have reached my breaking point. I am going to start saving my money and move out. I am done with him. By this time next year I will be divorced from him.
I hate men, I will never remarry. It is the last time. I have been married twice and both husbands ended our marriage the same way.
I want love, I want respect, I want faithfullness, I want an honourable man who will be there for me.
Unfortunately most men are not this way sadly.

Dissapointment

So the Kindergarten school plans fell through. So I have been wracking my brains to come up with something untill My husband gets a job. We owe rent in a few days and I don't have enough money for it. And with winter comming in 3 months I need to get winter blankets, last year I did not buy them because like this year I had no money. Patrick was too busy living in his cozy warm apartment with a prostitute he wanted to marry. She left him. But it took 6 months more before she disapeared for good.
I just want to go home and get out of here. I love being here, it's adventurous, but I am beguining to resent my life pretty much. I have started hating living in general. As a kid you wish you could hurry up and be an adult. As and adult you wish you could go back and fix all your mistakes. And as you reach the dreaded big 30, you wish (in my circumstance) for life to get over with so you wont hurt anymore.
I hope in my next life things are better and more happy, I can't believe that I have lived almost 30 years with one bad thing after another happening to me.
What did I do?
Why punish me so much?
Why punish my kids along with me?
Why does life suck for so many, but be great for a select few?
How do you define a great life?
How do you define success?
And why do they tell you to think positive, when it never works?
And last but not least, Why pray to GOD? After all he turned a blind eye to you when you were good, and did everything right. Going to church, praying, reading the bible everyday.
After I realised I was on my own, I quit reading the bible, took up drinking and smoking got tattoos and peircings and dirty mouthed language.
The only prayer I say now is this one, "GOD bless the germs the spit and the worms."
Because baby, I need it eating at some of these places here. Dirty, roaches and lack of health codes up the wazoo. But China is like this. I will add a picture of the local market just to show you what I contend with in order to get vegetables for the day...Enjoy, everyones lives are different, take a walk in someone elses shoes and lear something new.