An Update for MAY

So I know it has been a while since my last update, but I have been very busy.
First I have been studying for my GED test. For those who do not know what this is, it’s like passing Senior high school (right before college).
I have been focusing on my mathematics the most as that was always a weak class subject for me. But I have a great tutor. I just have to work on algebra, and some of that higher stuff like calculus.
But it seems I have Social studies and Science down packed, considering it has been 15 years since I last opened a book on them. On the short practice test I got 100% on social studies (24 questions) and 98% on Science. (I only missed 2 out of 24 questions) But that’s because I never took chemistry.
My reading is just as good, but unfortunately, my writing lacks a lot. Mostly, I have problems with the various formats that can be used with writing essays. As far as reading, I am an avid reader, and I read a lot, mostly online because it takes less space to keep an online library or E-book than it is to have a full fledged library. Not everyone has space for it in their homes.
So advanced mathematics and science would be my goals to improve upon and also my writing abilities.
Of course I don’t see anything wrong with the way I write, do you? Just let me know I have to fix something ok?

Second I also went to the social security office and applied for my social security card, I should get it in two weeks. And I also asked about getting a social security card for my baby Siobhan who is still in Taiwan. I was told all I need is her Birth abroad report and her immunization records and then fill an application for her. Then I can get WIC and food stamps and cash aid for her.
My soon to be EX husband, told me his girlfriend hates my daughter because my daughter is more beautiful than hers. (Our daughters have the unfortunate fate of sharing the same father; the soon to be EX husband, that she took from me. Good luck to her and good riddance to him. )
So he plans to send her to me in July; not that I believe he would keep his promise to me, because he never has in the past. But that is good news to me. It means I won’t have to fight for an international custody issue in court.

I once was so depressed I had made a slip when I was talking to the kids; I said “I am so sorry I gave you the wrong father, because he certainly did not deserve me, much less you kids.”
I realize now that while it was true he did not deserve them or me, God put us together for a reason, but now that reason has been complete and the better parent prevail.
Let’s take a look at what I mean:


Fathers abilities Mothers abilities

1. No job, but not looking 1. No job, but looking
2. Lives off of other people 2.Tries to make ends meet by recycling
3. Drinks, does drugs 3. Do not drink or do drugs
4. Sleeps with many women a night 4. Has not gotten laid since 2006
5. Yells at kids 5. Rarely yells
6. Hit kids and me 6. Never hit kids or others
7. Bought kids things for their love 7. Bought kids things out of love
8. Gave them too much candy 8. Gives candy out once a week
9. Took them to the doctor when he had time 9. Takes them to the doctor no matter what
10. Asks for money to get medicine 10. Ok I have Medi-CAL for my kids
11. Only visited his kids once a month- 11. Lives with them everyday
Even if he lived next door to them
12. Lies, steals, and cheats 12. Honest, helps others, and caring

I may be on government assistance until I get a job, but my husband is a parasite living off of other people and never looking for a job. Even when I was with him he lived off my money, but never lived with us; he was always living with other women and never took care of us. So I was basically an independent woman even before I left him. I just don’t have the abuse and humiliation anymore.
I had always thought we would be the kind of couple that grew old together, but his culture and his upbringing made him feel entitled to being with other women as he saw fit. I was used to give him kids and the other women were used for other things. And the humiliation from his verbal abuse in public and his cheating hurt me so much I thought about suicide.
But a special band came into my life and the lyrics of their songs wrote my whole life and the music from their songs showed my true feelings about what was going on. And it gave me a voice to speak out for myself and say “Hey! I am not going to live this way, I don’t deserve it, and I am not going to take it anymore. It stops now!” I owe much to AFI, they gave me so much and I wish one day to return the favor.

And now with my life going slowly into the healing process I will one day forget about the pain, I am getting back on my feet and moving forward, and AFI’s music will be there every step of the way.

I have also been going to church at the Angelus temple in Los Angeles and getting into a Christian rock band called Press Play, they are really good. I like their music. I also live with them at the dream center, I get to talk to them almost every day and my kids talk to them after service has finished. Sandra wants to play piano just as much as she did in China and now Jr wants to learn guitar. I did get him one for his birthday, but I think I am not qualified to teach him how to play, he might need lessons.
So I am going to get him a book and try to teach myself as much as possible first, then I can teach him what I learned.
So I have a very busy schedule and along with a lack of internet connection, my updates will be slow to get along to you.
God bless you!